Love, it's not over.

There are certain core belief’s people have and there are situations in life that challenge them. One of mine is that love is a gift. You should lovely people freely and without conditions or reservations. Living that is, as with everything, more difficult to actually do. However, life has presented me with opportunity. I’m in love with someone who, I’m fairly sure, doesn’t love me back…at least not in the way I would like. I’m sure he cares about me, but I’m not sure it’s love. I’m trying to be ok with that. I want to be ok with that. I realize that wanting to be loved is such in intrinsic part of human nature that I can not suppress that desire; however, I do not want him to feel obligated. Believing that love is a gift is easy. Freely loving someone who doesn’t return that love is a challenge. I’m actually glad for it. He says that there is no such thing as a self-less act. Perhaps he’s right. People do things that are charitable for their own reasons. I just don’t think those reasons are always mercenary. I do have my own personal reasons for making sure he knows I love him and putting up with a lot of his issues. Regardless of how this relationship ends, I can learn from it and be a stronger person for it. Also I genuinely wish him to be happy, even if that means he moves on to someone else. I, very much, want to be a positive influence in his life. As long as I can still have him in my life as a friend, I can accept that and be happy.

How does this work with already having a husband. Well, love is infinite. The idea that people can only love a select few at any given time is ridiculous. I love my husband, deeply and dearly. I love my family, even though we have serious issues. Loving multiple people, even in a romantic sense, isn’t that difficult. Love is infinite. Time is not. When you’re someone with poor time management skills, it can make things difficult. But knowing that the problem is about time management and not love makes things easier to deal with. My husband knows I love him just as I don’t doubt he loves me.

Love is a gift and it is infinite. Core beliefs I think I can live up too.