Comments on Prop 8 Trial

I've been reading the Prop 8 trial tracker every day now, and I find it both encouraging and disheartening. What saddens me is the pro-prop 8 people who can not seem to realize that who you are attracted too does not make you any less of a person. They have tried to perpetuate myths that gay men are universally promiscuous and incapable of forming long term relationships. They are also trying to bring up the idea that the purpose of marriage is for procreation. You take that to it’s logical but absurd conclusion and anyone who can not or chooses to not have children either can not marry or should have their marriages dissolved. Protectmarriage.com would never stand for that. There are also the letters from Dr. William Tam that equate legalizing gay marriage with legalizing pedophilia. These are clearly ridiculous stereotypes that the pro-prop 8 side is trying to put forth as fact. But it’s not like the other side isn’t putting forth its own stereotypes.


Although I understand why, it is painful to see that polyamory was thrown under the bus. Having my lifestyle be called despotism in a court of law while the marriage of two people (regardless of gender or sex) “… is an extension or even the building block of American democracy” is disturbing in the extreme. This was the answer, from a noted expert, to the idea that gay marriage is a slipper slope into polygamy. As a polyamorous woman I am highly offended. Having more then one love in my life or in my husband’s life is not despotism. People argue that being poly is a choice, so is religion. We, as a nation, have decided that religious choice is something that you can not be persecuted for. However, who and how many you choose to love is? As for it being choice, I’m not entirely certain of that. Ask a fundamentally monogamous person to be a part of a polyamorous relationship and see what you get. Conversely try to force a poly person into monogamy and see how that works. I would guess that it has about the same success rate of a gay or lesbian trying to maintain a straight relationship. I do know that I can not be anything other then who I am. And that means to be polyamorous.

While the legal tactic of ‘at least we’re not those evil people’ is a time honored tradition, it does leave a bitter taste in one’s mouth. I support the idea of gay marriage. I think they should have the same rights as anyone else on that front. I truly hope they win this fight and believe that our country will be all the better for it. In the end, however, as they become, for a different group of the disenfranchised, the same as those they fight against, I have only one question to ask: Is it worth it?